Did you know that 87% of those who have been bullied felt it had a negative effect on their self-esteem…

Low self-esteem can have harmful effects on your mental health, your decisions about your appearance and ultimately, your future. It’s not easy to like every part of the way you look, but getting stuck on negatives can really bring down your self-esteem.

Other effects of low self-esteem include:

• You avoid difficult situations
• Sensitive to criticism
• Anxiety
• Withdrawal from social situations
• You are reluctant to trust yourself

It’s important to believe, deep down that you can change. Change doesn’t necessarily happen easily or quickly, but it can happen. There are simple interventions aimed at helping you increase your self-esteem. Here are the DTL expert’s top tips and the best ways to build and improve your self-esteem:

1. Challenge bad thoughts about yourself

Replace them with more positive thoughts which celebrate things you’re good at. You can do this by writing down a list of at least three things you do well. Remember this list when you start feeling low, this will help bring yourself back to reality.

2. Take care of you

Eating well and exercising boosts endorphins, the body’s natural opiates, which make you feel good on the inside and stimulates a more positive mood. When you exercise, you’ll ease stress and feel better about yourself. Having a cheesy dance in your bedroom, or going for a jog around the block are great ways to boost your self-esteem.

3. Relax

Stress plays a huge role in self-esteem. Reduce your stress by taking time out to do something you find relaxing. This can be anything from taking a bath, meditation, gaming, exercise… you name it: if it works, it works!

4. Set Goals

Take the time every day to think about what you’d like to achieve. Then set yourself realistic goals for each day and keep track of your progress by writing down all your accomplishments. This can be as simple as finishing off a piece of work or tidying up (we all know how challenging this can be!) You’ll feel an enormous sense of accomplishment when you’ve ticked off everything on your list for the day. The trick is to not get bogged down by the list; some days you won’t manage to get it all done and that’s OK too!

5. Help someone out

This can be a friend, family member or even a classmate who is struggling with their work or having a tough time at school. You could give them some advice or just be there to listen to a problem. It’s amazing how much our confidence is boosted when we do selfless things – do one thing a week to help someone else without expecting anything in return.

6. Take a different perspective

Look at tricky situations from alternative angles. Try to replace thoughts like ‘why should I bother?’ with ‘I won’t know unless I try’. By looking at a situation through a more realistic lens you’ll realise that you actually can do what you want – you just need to apply a bit more positivity! By doing this every time you have a negative thought, you’ll eventually default to this kind of positivity on the regular, and who doesn’t love a go-getter?

7. Try new things

Our brains are really good at learning new stuff and the more new stuff you learn, the better you get at learning it. Everyone needs a creative outlet; music, art, dance, games, sewing, cooking, web design – all you need to do is get on YouTube and find some tutorials. All the information you need is out there – it’s just waiting for you to click on it.

8. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good

Spend your time with people who appreciate and care about you. It can be a little tricky at first, but try to distance yourself from people who make you feel bad about yourself. Even if they’re the most popular kid in school or the coolest person you know, it’s really not worth hanging out with them if they make you feel rubbish! Strengthen other friendships and you’ll most certainly feel better about things in the long run!

9. Accept yourself

First up: self-acceptance is key to feeling confident. When people pay you compliments, simply say ‘thanks’ rather than brushing them aside or countering them with a negative. Second: Nobody is perfect. Accept your ‘flaws’ or imperfections and learn to love them, they are what make you unique, work it!

10. Keep visual reminders of things that make you feel good

Mementos are a great way to see all the cool things you’ve been doing. How about making a ‘wall of fame’ in your bedroom with snaps of you and your friends? We are living in an age where we have a camera in our pocket at all times…take more pictures! Capture those memorable moments and when you look back at them, you’ll realise how many awesome things you’ve done this year!

Source: Ditchthelabel.org

• Your skills (what you are good at)
• Your educational background (what qualifications you have)
• Your interests (what you enjoy doing)
• Your values (what would give you satisfaction in your career)
• Your personality (what kind of person you are).

The word SWOT is an easy way to remember the four steps involved:

• Strengths
• Weaknesses
• Opportunities
• Threats

By answering key questions, you can:

• Set your PERSONAL GOALS
• Make important DECISIONS
• Put YOUR PLAN into ACTION.

The 4 Stages involved:

1. Strengths

• What do I do well?
• What resources can I draw on?
• What do others see as my strengths

2. Weaknesses

• What could I improve about myself?
• Where do I have fewer resources than others?
• What are others likely to see as weaknesses

3. Opportunities

• What opportunities are open to me?
• How can I turn my strengths into opportunities

4. Threats

• What threats might harm me?
• What is the person competing for the same job as I want doing about it right now?
• What threats do my weaknesses expose me to?

‘I’ve trained myself to illuminate the things in my personality that are likable and to hide and protect the things that are less likable.’ – Will Smith

‘If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started.’ – Marcus Tullius Cicero

Self-confidence refers to the belief in yourself and your own abilities. Self-confidence is extremely important in every aspect of life and people who lack it may find it difficult to be successful.

A proposal or idea being presented by an unconfident person may find little or no support, whereas one which is presented by someone who speaks clearly, holds their head high and answers questions assuredly, will be easily supported.

Self-confident people inspire confidence in others and this is one of the important ways of commanding success.

Self-confidence can be learnt and built upon through deliberate and dedicated effort.

How to build self-confidence

Building self-confidence takes time, however the good thing is, that it’s an achievable task. The things you do to build self-confidence will also build success as they constitute its essential pillars.

STEP 1 – Digging the Foundation

• Look at what you have already achieved – make a list of the things which you have achieved so far.
• Think about your strengths – take a look at who, and where you are in terms of your strengths and weaknesses.  Do a SWOT Analysis.
• Think about what is important to you and where you want to go – what is important to you and what do you want to achieve in life.
• Start managing your mind – learn to notice negative self-talk which works against your confidence and work towards being more positive.
• Commit yourself to success – make a clear and strict promise to yourself highlighting your commitment to the cause of self-confidence.

STEP 2 – Laying the Foundation

• Build the knowledge you need to succeed – develop skills and competencies which are aligned to your goals/targets.  This is will be your ‘Skill Set’.
• Focus on the basics – remember that simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, enjoy doing simple things successfully and well.
• Set small goals and try to achieve them – get in the habit of setting goals, achieving them and celebrating the achievement.
• Keep managing your mind and thoughts – stay positive, celebrate and enjoy your successes.

STEP 3 – Build (Grow)

• Make your goals bigger
• Increase your commitment
• Extend and integrate your skills and experience

Goal-Setting is the most important skill towards the improvement of self-confidence!

Written by Blessing Mabuto