Why? Because your body language gives people big clues about how you feel about yourself, how you feel towards them and even what you’re thinking.

What am I really saying?

Whatever words you say, a tilt of the head or crossing of the arms can make all the difference to the vibe you’re putting across. Welcoming or hostile, confident or shy, interested or fed up, your body says it all.

However, unless you’ve got a mirror in front of you every time you talk to someone, you won’t always be aware of your body language. The most important thing is to understand and learn to be aware of the signals you could be giving out with your body language.

We’ve put together some classic examples to highlight how the way you choose to stand, sit and hold your hands can reveal a lot about you and how it could affect your chances at work.

Infographic time

But before we get started, take a look at this infographic listing the dos and don’ts of body language, as well as some surprising facts which certainly came as news to us:

Keep it casual

There’s nothing wrong with putting your hands in your pockets when you’re at home or out with friends. But, in a formal work or job interview setting, you might come across as uninterested or lacking in confidence. If you’re being interviewed, keep your hands open, on the table and don’t be afraid to move them to help express what you are saying.

Bored

Either you’ve temporarily lost the use of your neck or that classic chin in hand pose means that you are tired – or well and truly bored. Checking your phone whilst you are talking to someone is a big mistake too. You might be listening, but to the person you’re with it looks like you’re not.

Next time you catch yourself leaning on your hand or glancing down at your phone, stop, sit up straight and put your shoulders back, this pose shows you are paying attention and will teach you to be more mindful of your body language.

Check your handshake

It’s polite to shake someone’s hand when you meet them, but a simple single shake is all you need, save special handshakes for, er, special occasions.

Is this what you normally see?

Spending a bit too much time staring at people’s shoes? Looking down frequently and avoiding eye contact can be a sign of shyness. It’s also something we do when we’re feeling a bit guilty. At work, school or in a job interview, try to always look at people when you are in a conversation. Maintaining eye contact is an important part of showing that you are interested, enthusiastic and open.

Crossed arms

Crossing your arms can be an act of defiance (you or your parents might have used this gesture when trying to negotiate what time you’ll be home…). But it could also be a sign that you are feeling fed up or a bit hostile. Crossed arms are also close friends with the sarcastic eye-roll. Try to avoid using this combo at work at all times.

That’s some fine slouching

Slouching in a chair or against a wall can be mighty comfy, but it can also make you seem grumpy, unapproachable or unmotivated. Keep an eye out for slouching and try to sit or stand up straight next time you do it. It will help you avoid back problems in future too. Double win!

Remember to smile

The simplest way to show warmth, confidence, kindness and openness, is to smile and make eye contact with the person you’re with. A simple smile can actually help you feel better and even up the mood of the person you’re with. It’s also the best way of indicating that you’re OK. Remember, you need to show these things, not just say them.

Positive body language

This guy is demonstrating lots of examples of positive body language. He is sitting up straight, making eye contact, his head is to one side indicating he is interested and his hands are open. Nailed it!

Activity: Ask a friend to observe you for an hour in class or on your lunch break. Get them to look at how you stand and sit, what you do with your hands, and your facial expression. When the hour’s up, get them to report their findings back to you and tell you what they thought you were feeling. Did you do any of things above? You might be surprised!

Observing the right etiquette can really help you in a job interview, a new job, or even in a new circle of friends. 

This article was kindly supplied with permission from successatschool.org

“Our society teaches us to spend a lot of time looking out there for success, but the ability to drive yourself to your full potential starts internally with personal mastery.” – Rapelang Rabana, founder and CEO of Rekindle Learning.

They say hard skills get you the interview but soft skills lands you the job. So what are soft skills – and how can you make them work for you?

While hard skills refer to your skills set and ability to carry out work-related tasks – from typing up memos to drawing up plans for your architecture firm – soft skills are personal attributes that impact how you go about handling everyday challenges and tasks. These habits or traits also affect your relationships and interactions with clients, colleagues or your boss.

According to Liz Cowell, recruitment specialist and owner of Vega Recruitment, good examples of soft skills include: “being able to listen to others’ point of view and understanding their position – listening properly to what is being said and understanding and interpreting things at the correct level are vital to any job; knowing when you are wrong and to admit it; and to take ownership of your job and your role, and to be responsible for your actions.”

Showcasing your soft skills

Also known as transferable skills because you can often use them in various situations or jobs, it’s important to highlight your soft skills early in the job-hunting process. You can integrate them into your CV or cover letter by giving specific examples of when you demonstrated soft skills such problem-solving, team work, flexibility, negotiation or motivating others, etc. in past jobs or internships.

Joanne Wood of Achieve Careers (www.achievecareers.co.za) says:
“Key transferable skills that all employers look for are interpersonal and communication skills. These soft skills are particularly important if the position involves any interaction with customers as employers would like to see that the applicant would portray an appropriate image of the company when interacting with clients.”

When it comes to showcasing your soft skills during an interview, Woods recommends arriving with specific examples to draw on – it’s one thing writing down skills for your resume; it’s another trying to unpack them in a stressful job interview. Think of how you have developed interpersonal skills at your last job or while you were at college or university. Perhaps you led a team and had to interact effectively with people from different backgrounds. Examples like these show an employer that you will be able to implement this skill in their work setting.”

Adds Woods: “With regards to communication skills, your CV will already be an illustration of your written communication ability (it’s also evidence that you can be concise and stick to two pages!); the interview gives an employer insight into how clearly you communicate. Again, preparation is key and you’re likely to be calmer and more confident if you have specific examples ready to draw on.”

To illustrate you have developed communication skills, Woods suggests using examples such a having conducted presentations, facilitated workshops or written newsletters.

Identifying and improving your soft skills

While it may be tempting to cram in as many soft skills as possible into your CV or at your next interview, don’t go overboard! Start by doing a self-evaluation: jot down what you do well and how you approach various tasks and situations, from always meeting a deadline to resolving conflicts in a team. Next, remember to include only those soft skills that you have concrete examples to show how you used these skills.

Finally, use your soft skill self-evaluation to not only identify strengths, but to also find out your weaknesses. Like hard skills, you can spend time improving soft skills such as poor time management, not being able to perform under pressure, or always taking work criticism personally. Ask a co-worker or mentor who demonstrates these skills you need to work on for tips and advice – and remember, practice make perfect!

By Joanne Wood

With the growing use of email to apply for jobs, internships and other opportunities, email messaging skills have become more important than ever before. From grammar to greetings, remember these basic rules every time you hit ‘send’.

1. Mind your language!

“Grammar rules apply to emails,” says Ulrike Hill, business facilitator and writer at Writer’s Write, which offers practical courses in business and creative writing. “Capital letters should be used at the beginning of sentences and are used for proper nouns.” She adds: “Using capital letters throughout an email is the same as showing you’re angry.” The same applies to using only lowercase letters in an email, which may send the message that you’re lazy or unprofessional.

2. Spell check!

There’s no excuse for sending sloppy emails! MS Outlook, Windows Live Hotmail, Gmail and Yahoo all have spell check features to check your messages – so take the time to figure out how these work. If you pick up typos or spelling errors after you’ve sent an email, and you’re applying for a job or the recipient is an important person, “resend the email without errors and in the subject line state that the previous email should be ignored,” advises Hill. She adds that it’s a good idea to get into the habit of always reading through emails before you send them: “There are errors that may creep in that are not picked up by the spell-checker, such as ‘there/their’.”

3. Laws of attachment

Sent an email but forgot that all-important attachment like your cover letter or CV? Now what? “Honesty is the best policy,” says Hill. “Emails are a common form of communication and to a large extent have replaced telephonic conversation. Send another email with the attachment. In the body of the email explain that you had forgotten to send the attachment.” As for sending very large attachments, rather link to downloadable documents or use free services such as sendspace.com or dropbox.com. Large files (over 5 MB) are more likely to get blocked or could slow down your recipient’s email – not a good way to start your relationship with them.

4. All in a name!

If you’re sending attachments such as CVs and cover letters, “save your document in .pdf format before sending the email,” recommends Hill. Word documents can result in formatting issues if opened on a different system to the one used to create the document.

Also read job advertisements carefully as they may stipulate in which format CVs etc. should be sent. If instructions are not given and you’re still not sure – send both a pdf and Word document so the recipient has both options to choose from. And don’t forget to name your documents correctly. Put your name on CV and cover letter attachments as employers and recruiters may be sifting through hundreds of attachments simply labelled ‘CV’.

5. DNT Abbrvt!

Emails may be a more informal mode of communication, but that doesn’t mean you can get away with writing ‘dis’ or ‘dat’, and signing off ‘c u l8tr’. Slang, abbreviations and so-called SMS speak don’t belong in emails – especially not in professional messages sent to recruiters or potential employers. Also refrain from putting in cute smiley faces at the end of your e-mail : )

6. Name’s no game!

Pick your e-mail address carefully. Applying for a job with aliases such as sweetthang or sexychick look unprofessional, or worse yet, could land you in the recipient’s spam folder.

7. Addressing job search mails

Read job advertisements carefully as they will often note the name of the person to whom you should address your application. Take the time to check for a name and always start your mail with Dear Mr. or Ms. (rather than ‘hey’ or ‘hi’). Also stay away from starting your email with “I’m not sure if you’re the right person, but…”. Do some research, call the organization and ask who is person responsible for recruitment to show you have put in some time and effort.

If you still cannot locate a contact name, address your email to Dear Sir/Madam or the Recruitment Officer. Next step? Briefly introduce yourself, say where you found out about the job opening (the name of a website, newspaper, etc.) and put the job you are applying for (and reference number if one is supplied) in the subject line of your email. Even if you are attaching a cover letter to your email that outlines who you are and why you’re applying for the position never leave the body of an email empty or blank – this will not impress the recruitment agent or employer and may create the impression you are lazy or unprofessional.

by Esther Etkin
For more info about Writer’s Write, visit www.writerswrite.posterous.com

‘Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people.’ – Jim Rohn

_{Choosing a mentor is not an instant process. Finding someone willing to take an interest in your career requires time and energy, but the rewards can be worth the effort.}

What is a mentor?

A mentor is someone who takes an active interest in your career and personal development. They may be relative or friend; they may work in the field you’re interested in, or occupy a role you would like to fill one day.

Your mentor can guide you in a number of ways. They can help you understand more about your role in a future position. They can help open doors for you in their industry; or inform you about things to be aware of once working in a particular field or company (such as company politics or ways to approach certain people). And they can provide you with important feedback and constructive criticism about your work or studies.

Your relationship with a mentor is an important one and may last a number of years. For this reason, you must trust him or her, and feel comfortable enough to share important experiences and information with them.

How to choose a mentor

Ask yourself these questions to identify the right person for the job:

1. Do you know someone in your desired career choice with whom you already communicate?
2. Do you know someone in your community or area that you respect and aspire to be like one day?
3. Do you know someone who has shown an interest in your life?
4. Do you know someone willing to listen and provide feedback to you about ways to improve in your future profession?
5. Do you know someone passionate about what they do and is happy to share their knowledge and expertise?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then you already know someone to seek out as your mentor.

Asking someone to be your mentor

1. Many people will feel privileged and grateful for the opportunity to be a mentor. Approaching someone to fill this role may be as simple as formally asking them to do so. But, for others, it may take a little bit more work.
2. If you don’t already have a relationship with your future mentor (e.g. the person is someone you admire but have never connected with before), start by making the effort to introduce yourself. You could request a coffee meeting and explain that you’d like to know more about what they do and learn from their experience. Build a relationship with them until you feel comfortable enough to formally ask for their guidance. But, don’t hound the person – and respect their decision not to take on the role if they refuse. Move on and thank them for their time, as you never know when your paths could cross again.
3. Sometimes, you may not even need to formally ask for someone’s mentorship – your relationship with them may evolve into a mentoring one on its own. In these cases, it’s nevertheless just as important to stick to the guidelines for a successful mentoring relationship to get the most out of your time together.

Getting the most from mentorship

One of the most important things to remember when building a mentoring relationship is that you’ll only get out what you put in. Mentoring and guidance is a two-way street! So, when working with your mentor, define upfront what you wish to achieve out of your relationship. Setting goals for your time together will ensure your relationship is productive and worthwhile – for you both.

It’s also important to adhere to the times and dates you set with your mentor. He or she will have a range of commitments, so give them enough warning to set aside time to meet with you.

Finally, communicate, communicate, communicate! Being able to talk freely about your challenges, dreams and current position, and getting feedback on these things, will help you to step out of your comfort zone and help you grow – both in your career, and as a person.

Struggling to find a mentor?

1. Visit Fetola at www.fetola.co.za to apply to be a mentee (or mentor). For more information, call 021 701 7466/8096
2. Big Brother Big Sister SA is a mentoring programme for young people under 18. For more info, visit www.bbbssa.org.za or call 076 174 3789
3. Heartlines.org.za also offers opportunities to those interested in volunteering as mentors. For more information visit at www.forgood.co.za.
4. SEDA (The Small Enterprise Development Agency) offers business development and support services for small enterprises for more information, visit www.seda.org.za

by Simone Lingenfelder

Simone Lingenfelder is a youth life coach. To contact her, visit www.lighthousecoaching.co.za

‘I think kids should have a mentor and a role model, but that they shouldn’t take one person’s opinion to be what we call final assessment or judgment about how life is supposed to be.’ –  Sean Paul